This is my life: Motherhood and why a few kickboxing classes would have come in handy.

At the end of last week, Paige was really on a roll - she got into the medicine and made a huge mess, she ran out the gate on several occasions to chase down ice cream men, she used floor cleaner to "bathe" the puppy and also dumped a full bottle of floor soap into the washing machine's soap dispenser.  But the week culminated with her final grand act...

I had let Paige take her afternoon nap in the guest room. I was exhausted and ready for my nap too, when I heard her crying over and over, "Mommy!  Mommy!  Help!  I tan't do it!"

I found Paige locked in the guest bathroom and she had the key on her side.  I stood at the door trying to explain to her how to turn the key or take the key out of the door and pass it under the door.  She couldn't do it (it is tricky) and just kept saying, "I tan't do it, Mommy!" until she finally just gave up. I could hear her in there playing with the water and soap, having a great time out of my reach.

I called Sean.  He basically told me I could handle it.  Then said he loved me and bye.  (Only later did he bother to tell me he was in the middle of a meeting.)

I was kinda mad.

I may have cried.

Meanwhile, Paige continued to play in the bathroom, totally unconcerned that she was going to spend the rest of her life in there.  I couldn't think of anything to do - that door is made of thick, heavy jungle wood and it's also locked with a deadbolt. There is a only a very small window very high up in the bathroom.  There is also a space above the door with wooden slats but I didn't want to destroy that.

So I turned off the water pump (ha!  no more water now, Paige!) and laid down on the guest bed, trying to think of something I could do to get in that door.  I envisioned myself taking a running leap at the door and crashing through with my shoulder...but a little voice in my head told me that was a bit too Hollywood.  I thought of doing my best karate kick, but I quickly envisioned myself writhing in pain on the floor with a broken ankle while the door still stood strong. I thought of taking out the slats above the door and throwing one of the older girls over to unlock the door...but realistically, I knew they wouldn't be able to unlock the door either, mostly because of their broken bones from the fall.

Finally, I grabbed a hammer and screwdriver from Sean's toolbox because it was all I could think of.  I didn't even know if I could make a dent in the door because that wood is seriously tough stuff but I decided to try anyway. The first time I hit the door with the hammer, it jarred my teeth loose and only made a small mark - that's where the screwdriver came in.  It took me several minutes, but I was finally able to knock out a section of the door and reach in and unlock it for Paige.  She looked at me with a combination of fear, awe, and surprise when the door swung open.

Then we all took naps.  Long naps.

Oh, Paigey, what will I do with you?  Your big sister asked why my hair looked so light today...I think it might have grayed significantly in the past few days.