Big Chickens

The girls have these books about four big chickens who get into all sorts of trouble.  I adore these books and so do the girls (and so does my mom, who gave them to us).  They are hilarious adventures...and becuase we have chickens, we know how accurate the books really are. 

Just so you know, chickens are stupid and ridiculously skittish.  I love having them for the eggs and the entertainment value.

I was washing dishes the other day when one of our hens suddenly jumped up pwocking and squawking and rammed her head into the wall next to the window over our sink.  She jumped a good 20 feet in the air and for the life of me, I can't figure out why.  No other creature was around, nothing was chasing her. 

One of our hens, we're not sure which one becuase they all look the same, has found a fun place to lay eggs even though she has a perfectly lovely nest box for that.  To this hen, right next to Sean's saw and the spare umbrella in the garage seems like a magical place to lay an egg.  If we chase her out or close the garage door, she freaks. She doesn't know what to do with herself and her as yet unlaid egg. The other hens lay wherever the mood hits them.  I've found eggs all over the yard...once, even in a nest box! (Pretty sure that was an accident.)

Our chickens have the added curse of being extremely ugly.  They are all black and scrawny and really tall.  They are also missing the feathers down their breastbones.  They look something like a vulture.  We have named them Ugly, Fea (Spanish for ugly), Jelek (Indonesian for ugly), and Really Ugly.  Seriously, when people see them the first thing they say is "wow, those are really ugly chickens!"  (They are called Bangkok chickens and the rooster has potential to be pretty...but ours isn't).

Anyway, the chickens like to roost on our pump house every night.  The pump house is right next to our back porch and they are destroying the roof of the pump house and making it all gross and stinky right there where we eat dinner.  Last weekend, Sean put dozens of screws into the pump house roof (reversed, so the pokey side was up) so they wouldn't roost there any more.  Do you know what?  They were very confused but they still roost there.  They just sort of hover over the sharp protuberances and keep right on pooping on our pump house. 

I mentioned in an earlier post that one of our hens had disappeared and we'd assumed she'd been eaten by a civet cat/weasel/creature of the night.  Actually, she came back!  And then she disappeared again.  And this morning she was back again!  But now she's gone.  Apparently, the other hens don't like her and chase her off every day.  She comes back each morning trying to join the group again, looking like she's had a really rough night and the other hens get all "Mean Girls" on her until she leaves.  I have no idea where she goes.  I feel kinda bad for her but at the same time, c'mon lady!  Stand up for yourself!  Don't be such a chicken!

I'll leave you with this quote from our favorite book:

"It's a wolf!"
The chickens picked, pecked, and pocked.  They ruffled, puffled, and shuffled.  They shrieked, squeaked, and freaked, until....
the wolf ran out of the cave.
Their chicken hearts soared.
"I am a big, brave chicken."said one chicken.
"Ohhh...."said the others.
"Me too."
"Me three."
"Me four."
"We have chicken power."
"We have chicken brains."
"We have chicken guts."
"Yes, they all agreed, "we are very big chickens."
Four dirty, dusty, drippy, dazed, daring chickens strutted all the way home.