Update and thoughts on "Home."
Oh, my! Things have been a little on the crazy side around here. We moved out of our house last Wednesday and into my parents house. We finished moving totally out of our house on Thursday, then finished cleaning on Friday. Saturday...we rested! Then on Sunday we spoke in a local church. Monday found us trying to figure our new routine out...same thing for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday :-) Oh, today is Thursday, I was thinking it should be Friday by now. Well, we're still trying to figure things out!
We feel very comfortable here and things are going very well so far. Our little red house is good and rented (not without a few hiccups, but all is good now), our dog and chickens settled into their new homes. It feels very strange. We're homeless again!
We moved out of Brooklyn's school district, so we are now taking her into school every morning - a 20-30 minute drive. Not exactly convenient, but so it must be. We pick her up at a bus stop about four miles from home in the afternoon, so at least we don't have to go all the way into town again in the afternoon! Brooklyn is doing very well in school - she loves it. I'll brag more on her later, but I just had to mention that my oldest girl is quite the schoolgirl. She's social and too smart for her own good! I love seeing her grow this way, even though a part of me is devastated that she's growing up so quickly.
Our monthly support is now around 52% and our one-time is closing in on 30%. We're very encouraged! We still have a long way to go, but meeting that halfway mark is quite the milestone. God is providing!
Now that we're moved out of our own home, I've been reflecting a lot on what this all means. We really are missionaries again! It's a great feeling. With all of its struggles and heartaches and joys, the missionary life is, well, mine. It's my life and, in truth, I love it for the simple fact that God gave it to me. I don't feel at home in the States...and neither do I feel at home on the mission field. It surprises me, but I'm learning to recognize where my home really, really is. Ain't anywhere here on earth, I can tell you that for certain!
One of the biggest struggles for me during our first term as missionaries was my struggle with not feeling at home. It bothered me to no end to be moving around so much. Couldn't stand it that nothing was truly mine and whether it was planned or not, a move was sure to come! And we did move a lot during our 3.5 years overseas - from a temporary house in Costa Rica to someone else's house in Ecuador to our own house in Ecuador to a house in Mexico (with lots of stays in guesthouses and others' homes in between). I wanted stability. It was my obsession! I wanted (my definition of) home! I can't tell you how many days I wasted dreaming about having my own home in the States where I would live until the day I died. It's probably not lost on you that I just moved out of that house!
What changed my mind? Turns out, all those comforts and stability I longed for didn't appease my sense of not belonging. Because I'm not from here, not really. My Home is God Himself. As we began to explore the possibility of returning to missions, I realized that my need to be settled in a physical location was based on a deeper need to be settled in Christ. The location I am in is completely arbitrary. What matters is that my heart is settled and at peace and established in the Rock. I'm always going to miss those physical locations on the planet that hold special meaning to me - Costa Rica, Ecuador, Mexico, and, probably most of all, good old Colorado! I'm sure that one day very soon I will feel real heartache when a photo of our little red house pops up on the screen-saver. But that building is not my home. Colorado is not my home. Ecuador isn't either, nor is Indonesia. Heaven is. My longing for Home is my longing for Him, no place on earth could ever fill His place.
I've tried for so long to find my peace in physical stuff - a home, material stuff, a specific location, even people. I've always loved the Lord and desired to serve Him, but somewhere along the line I got the idea that I couldn't really enjoy this life unless I had all that I wanted. Now, I realize, it isn't the blessings I want, it's the Blesser Himself!
I came across a blog post that puts into words perfectly how I feel, what I'm learning. If you care to, you can read it here.
We feel very comfortable here and things are going very well so far. Our little red house is good and rented (not without a few hiccups, but all is good now), our dog and chickens settled into their new homes. It feels very strange. We're homeless again!
We moved out of Brooklyn's school district, so we are now taking her into school every morning - a 20-30 minute drive. Not exactly convenient, but so it must be. We pick her up at a bus stop about four miles from home in the afternoon, so at least we don't have to go all the way into town again in the afternoon! Brooklyn is doing very well in school - she loves it. I'll brag more on her later, but I just had to mention that my oldest girl is quite the schoolgirl. She's social and too smart for her own good! I love seeing her grow this way, even though a part of me is devastated that she's growing up so quickly.
Our monthly support is now around 52% and our one-time is closing in on 30%. We're very encouraged! We still have a long way to go, but meeting that halfway mark is quite the milestone. God is providing!
Now that we're moved out of our own home, I've been reflecting a lot on what this all means. We really are missionaries again! It's a great feeling. With all of its struggles and heartaches and joys, the missionary life is, well, mine. It's my life and, in truth, I love it for the simple fact that God gave it to me. I don't feel at home in the States...and neither do I feel at home on the mission field. It surprises me, but I'm learning to recognize where my home really, really is. Ain't anywhere here on earth, I can tell you that for certain!
One of the biggest struggles for me during our first term as missionaries was my struggle with not feeling at home. It bothered me to no end to be moving around so much. Couldn't stand it that nothing was truly mine and whether it was planned or not, a move was sure to come! And we did move a lot during our 3.5 years overseas - from a temporary house in Costa Rica to someone else's house in Ecuador to our own house in Ecuador to a house in Mexico (with lots of stays in guesthouses and others' homes in between). I wanted stability. It was my obsession! I wanted (my definition of) home! I can't tell you how many days I wasted dreaming about having my own home in the States where I would live until the day I died. It's probably not lost on you that I just moved out of that house!
What changed my mind? Turns out, all those comforts and stability I longed for didn't appease my sense of not belonging. Because I'm not from here, not really. My Home is God Himself. As we began to explore the possibility of returning to missions, I realized that my need to be settled in a physical location was based on a deeper need to be settled in Christ. The location I am in is completely arbitrary. What matters is that my heart is settled and at peace and established in the Rock. I'm always going to miss those physical locations on the planet that hold special meaning to me - Costa Rica, Ecuador, Mexico, and, probably most of all, good old Colorado! I'm sure that one day very soon I will feel real heartache when a photo of our little red house pops up on the screen-saver. But that building is not my home. Colorado is not my home. Ecuador isn't either, nor is Indonesia. Heaven is. My longing for Home is my longing for Him, no place on earth could ever fill His place.
I've tried for so long to find my peace in physical stuff - a home, material stuff, a specific location, even people. I've always loved the Lord and desired to serve Him, but somewhere along the line I got the idea that I couldn't really enjoy this life unless I had all that I wanted. Now, I realize, it isn't the blessings I want, it's the Blesser Himself!
I came across a blog post that puts into words perfectly how I feel, what I'm learning. If you care to, you can read it here.
This really encouraged me this morning. We are moving forward with candidacy training in April with MAF and I have been feeling homesick and we haven't hardly begun! These feelings of homesickness have made me doubt that our family should pursue this. Are we really cut out for it? God is in the process of teaching us many things. I am nervous but very excited as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's so true that our home is not here. And I really believe God uses things in our lives every day to remind us that we weren't made for this world.
PTL
Blessings
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