The Reality of Settling In

I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but Sean and I have moved around. A lot. In 7 1/2 years of marriage we have lived in five different countries and somewhere around ten different houses. That means how many moves?

You would think I'd be used to it by now.

But every time we move, at around this time, I am once again blindsided by the reality of moving and settling in.

Folks, it ain't easy.

In fact, you could say it's a lot like fun....only different.

"Different" meaning miserable, overwhelming, discouraging, and down-right upsetting in this case.

What I don't want to do is imply that I hate our life (cause I love it!)...or that I am regretting our decision to move to Mexico (cause I don't). Call me crazy, but I am still completely convinced we are right where we are supposed to be. God has not and will not desert us.

Having done this moving thing a time or two in the past, I'm well acquainted with the feelings I'm having at the moment. I suppose it helps to know this is all normal, all part of moving and re-settling. Good grief, you can't expect to leave all that you know and love - the life you have built over two years - and expect everything to be hunky-dory. Moving, itself, is quite easy. It's the settling-in, the hours of paperwork, the discovering yet another new culture, and the blood, sweat and tears that come after the move that gets ya. (I'm speaking international moves here, I've only had a couple of your run-of-the-mill, move-across-town kind of moves. Those are stressful, but nothing like switching to a completely different life in a new culture.)

So what, exactly, am I saying? Well, I guess I'm just being honest. The reality of moving to a new country is that it can just plain stink. It is hard. Paperwork? It can kill ya. Waiting? Even worse. And, where we are, that is all we can do. We wait for visas, for our shipment, for Sean's license, for everything else. We make phone calls only to be told mañana. And most of all, we wait for what we know is just around the corner - that feeling of being settled, of having found our niche in Oaxaca, of knowing who our friends are, what our life looks like, just the comfort and security in a routine and all that goes with it.

It took a good year to a year and a half before we were "there" in Ecuador. In many ways, we've set our expectations very low, knowing things take time. It is still discouraging when things don't happen like we hope, but we know we'll get through to the other side. One day, this will be our home. One day, we'll know a little better what to expect when we set out to run an errand. One day, we'll feel like we're doing more with our time than sitting on our hands.

Wanna know what is truly amazing? God is still in this. He's still with us, still guiding, still protecting, still providing. Some days it feels like we are feeling our way around in the dark, but the reality is that He is the "Light unto our path." Earlier today, I was feeling particularly sick and laid down on my bed. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and throw a fit (but I was afraid I'd throw up again if I did). Do you know that God used that moment to just wrap me up in a sweet, warm embrace of peace? As I lay there calling out to the Only One who knows how I'm really feeling, I felt perfect peace and trust. I know the days are rough, but God is not in the business of leaving His children in the midst of trial. It is a sweet reminder that I need my God and Savior, that I must depend upon Him and be found in Him in the midst of some rotten days or risk those days becoming even more unbearable.

So, the reality is that no, everything isn't hunky-dory. It isn't exactly "fun" anymore. We're tired, a little grumpy. But God is REAL. We trust Him, we wait patiently to see our life in Oaxaca fall into place, we continue to expect great things!